


Think of me when you shoot your arrows

by Lecrit



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Internal Conflict, Internal Monologue, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 05:04:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7253587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lecrit/pseuds/Lecrit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“Think of me when you shoot your arrows.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Today, he can’t bring himself to shut his brain off. His mind is swirling with the memories of Magnus the day before, of his velvety voice and the ghost of a smirk on his lips as he had murmured those words to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Think of me when you shoot your arrows

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the prompt:  
>  _"Think of me when you shoot your arrows." Malec (duh)_
> 
> I hope you like it, cupcake. ❤
> 
> Ps: You can find this fic on tumblr [here. ](http://onceuponasourwolf.tumblr.com/post/146201645360/prompt-think-of-me-when-you-shoot-your-arrows)

_“Think of me when you shoot your arrows.”_

The training room is incredibly silent in the mornings.

Alec is an early riser and it means he has the room to himself for at least an hour. He usually takes the opportunity to clear his mind, to forget about his parents’ too high expectations or the Clave’s outdated laws. Instead, he focuses on his body, how his shoulders relax when he’s drawing an arrow, how his muscles tighten when he throws a particularly strong blow to the punching bag. There is something cathartic in having only one target and it brings his mind to rest, at least for the hour he is left alone.

Today, he can’t bring himself to shut his brain off. His mind is swirling with the memories of Magnus the day before, of his velvety voice and the ghost of a smirk on his lips as he had murmured those words to him.

Magnus is infuriating.

Alec has spent years working on pushing away every undesired emotion, every feeling that could drive him away from his duties. He has learned to control his mind, to be in command of his thoughts. And Magnus is changing that somehow.

Now, as he nocks the arrow onto the string and draws, he thinks of Magnus. When he lets the arrow fly and flawlessly hit the center of its target, he thinks of Magnus.

These days, it seems like he does nothing but think of Magnus.

He hates it. He has so much to deal with, from Valentine being back, to him actually getting _married_ and that’s not mentioning Jace running around doing exactly what he wants without thinking of the consequences it could have.

Yet, he can only think of Magnus.

It’s actually funny that Magnus asked that he would think of him when he shoots his arrows when Alec thinks of him _all the damn time_.

He pauses in the middle of shooting another one when it dawns on him.

The silent training room in the mornings is his way-out, has always been his safe haven when he needs to clear his mind. This is the place where he pushes his problems aside and focus on what brings him peace.

He lowers his arms, the mere thought making his whole body go numb. He can hear his heartbeat in his ears, deafening and impossibly brutal.

He hasn’t been thinking about his problems, about the storm that hit them all and has already blown away so much – too much – in its path. Instead, he’s been thinking about Magnus. About the way his voice softens when he talks to Alec. About his eyes lighting up like beacons trying to bring him home when he looks up at him. About his elegant fingers moving around in resolute flourishes, although he tries to make it appear nonchalant. About the way he jokes to hide his true nature, how much he cares, how he cares so much that it has to be painful. About the hurt he read in his gaze when he told him he was getting married.

He grabs his phone almost automatically, scrolling through his contacts until he finds his. He stares at the screen for a while, at the way the letters enfold to form his name. He reads it in his head, enjoys the way he can repeat it as many times as he wants in the secrecy of his own mind because no one can stop him here, no one can tell him how wrong it is. Not even Alec himself.

He wants to call. To tell him that he does think of him. That he thinks about him so much that it feels like his heart might combust, no matter how hard he tries to fight it.

But he can’t. Because he has to think of others, too. Of Isabelle, and Max, and Jace and his parents, and the consequences his actions could have on them. He has to stop it. He has to pull himself back together. He has too much to deal with to allow himself to get lost in something that can never be, someone he can never have.

So he just switches off his phone and picks up his bow, letting another arrow fly. It hits the target with a decisive thump that echoes in his chest, in the beating of his thundering heart.

He’s been thinking about Magnus and he’s forgotten about the rest of the world, about what is expected of him, how it seems so much that he’s suffocating with the weight of it.

And he realizes with a start, in the quiet of the training room, that maybe thinking about Magnus is what brings him peace now.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr [@lecrit](http://lecrit.tumblr.com/) (yup, I changed my username) and on twitter [@_L_ecrit](https://twitter.com/_L_ecrit) ❤


End file.
